Amazing ! How I hurriedly married my wife after another man proposed — Ejike Okoye tells his beautiful love story
The Okoyes
Nollywood actor, Ejike Okoye, has been married to Ify, a program analyst and financial expert, for 14 years. They share their love story with Spice below:
How and when did you meet your wife?
Ejike: I met my wife in the early 90s while I was in secondary school and I have been a friend of her family ever since. We started out just as good friends but with no strings attached. I watched her grow up and realised that she was reserved and homely. Also, she was her parents’ favourite; she always kept the house clean, helped out in the kitchen and never missed any of her daily chores. She had high moral standards unlike most teenagers her age. She has remained God-fearing till date. She also ensured that I ate each time I visited their house back then. She possessed all the qualities of a good wife right from the first day I met her.
What were your first impressions of your husband?
Ify: My husband has been a friend of my family years before we got married. He showed a lot of care to my younger siblings and I, without making advances at us. He usually took us out to parties, the swimming pool, confectionaries and other fun spots. He has remained a nice guy and a handsome gentleman.
How did you propose to her?
Ejike: We grew so fond of each other in no time and also understood each other perfectly. My wife could read me like no one else and she also inspired me. I approached her directly and she wasn’t surprised because she already knew my intentions. She was very happy when I proposed to her.
Ify: He proposed to me over the phone and I was very happy. The engagement ring came afterwards.
How long did it take to woo her?
Ejike: It didn’t take me long to woo her because God had already destined us to be together. We knew we loved each other long before we even met.
How long did you court your wife?
Ify: Our friendship started during our secondary school days but I was still in primary school when he started coming over to our house. There was no form of intimacy until we decided to get married to each other.
At what point did you decide to marry her?
Ejike: It felt as though we were both dying in silence. We knew we wanted each other but neither of us wanted to give it a shot at first. I guess it’s because we were used to each other as family friends. We didn’t express our love for each other until a man came to seek her hand in marriage. That was when the love, care and passion came to light and ever since then it has continued to grow.
Is he as romantic as he is being portrayed in movies?
Ify: Absolutely! My husband is a very romantic and caring gentle man. I don’t think it has anything to do with the fact that he is an actor. I knew him long before he ventured into acting even though we weren’t dating at the time. I don’t think acting plays any role in an individual’s love life. It has to do with the individuals involved.
Were you comfortable with him becoming an actor?
Did: Yes I was. There was no cause for alarm.
How have you coped with his schedules and female fans?
Ify: As a wife and a mother, I pay attention to my husband and children. In addition, I love, respect and submit to my husband. We do everything and have fun together as a wonderful family. He balances his
work and his family life perfectly. His absence is always brief and has never been felt that much. An
average man or woman with blood flowing in his or her veins would naturally be jealous. Nobody wants to share his or her partner but I don’t let that interfere with our friendship, marriage and commitments. I trust my husband a lot. My Christian faith also goes a long way and God has been my strength and companion.
How do you constantly reassure your wife of your fidelity?
Ejike: Communication is one of the most important aspects of a healthy marriage. I am always open to my wife in all ramifications especially when a woman makes passes at me. I always reassure her that I will never let any woman to come in between us. The most important aspect of a relationship is actively making it as fulfilling as it can be at all times. Whilst I’m aware that it takes a considerable amount of time to get to a level of complete ease and trust in a relationship, the best temporary measure is to simply suppress any insecurity you may have as soon as they arise. It will let your partner know that you trust them, which in turn will emotionally pull them closer to you rather than push them away.
In what ways do you get each other angry?
Ejike: No marriage is perfect; the only perfect being I know is God. I get my wife angry sometimes but I apologise after a while. Sometimes it takes a day or two. I will not elaborate on how I got my wife angry but I learn from the mistake and not to let it happen again. Our love grows stronger after apologising.
Ify: Every marriage has its ups and downs but don’t let it linger for a long time. If you are wrong, apologise. It will not make or break you. It can only amount to a healthy relationship. The reasons behind most celebrity marriage breakup could be lack of love, peace, understanding and most importantly the inability to forgive and forget.
Do you have access to each other’s phones and social media accounts?
Ify: We make use of each other’s phone without any restrictions but with permission. Our phones don’t have passwords. Social media accounts technically have passwords but I never cared to ask my husband for his password because I don’t think it is necessary. Also, I am not a fan of social media. I only have a Facebook account, which I visit once or twice a month. It’s all about trust.
How do you spend time as a couple?
Ify: We balance our work with our family and at the same time optimise the time we have together. We go on vacation, visit fun places and forget everything about work. Sometimes, I surprise him with vacation packages. I always prepare his favourite meal, which is Eba andEgusi soup. My husband cooks too and sometimes serves me breakfast in bed. I am always happy whenever he does that.
What is the secret behind the success of your union?
Ify: The secret to a successful marriage is praying and ministering the word of God together as a couple. Understanding and communicating with each other is also important in a marriage and having Jesus Christ, as the overall head of your household is the only way you can have a successful marriage.
What advice do you have for intending couples?
Ify: They must really seek God with all their heart before they make any commitment. They must also let the Lord direct their footsteps. Marriage is like an institution; intending couples should be able to study each other especially those in a long-term relationship before getting married. Couples should give each other attention and respect themselves. They should not forget remarkable dates like birthdays, wedding anniversaries and never fail to express their love for each other.
Do you operate a joint bank account?
Ejike: Absolutely, we have foreign and domestic joint accounts. God joined us together as one, so we do things together. I advise couples to do the same because they never know what tomorrow holds.
What pet names do you call each other?
Ejike: I call my wife Ify or Baby and she calls me Eji, Getsmart or Baby.
